I woke up today, and every day for the last few weeks, with a sense ofā¦dread. It might have to do with turning 36. I know, Little Miss Sunshine. I always get the birthday blues. October is such an emotionally-charged month because each year I scrupulously evaluate āwhere I amā in life in the days leading up to October 19th. Iāve never understood people who feel nothing but self-indulgent joy at themself and their #blessed life on their birthday. Letās be real, you canāt trust those people.
Before you jump down my throat, āstop complaining about your life, you ARE blessed!ā let me say, never say that word in my presence, thank you very much. I put āblessedā and ājourneyā in the same category of cheugy. Also, this isnāt filing complaints about where I am or where I am not in my life, itās more an observation that the formula I was taught, and believed in earnest would work, is not a formula at all, much less an equation that leads to a logical conclusion.
These observations came in the form of hard truths. And I thought Iād share those with you today as a little peak into the trenches of first time foundry.
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Hard truth #1:
Am I little late to the game on this one? Yes, but here it is. You have to feed the beast if youāre going to have a shot at being successful. And by the beast(s) I mean Google, Meta and TikTok. And they are BEASTS. I keep trying to barter with myself. There are other ways to do this. I can grow an audience without throwing money at these dumb fucks. I can find a more genuine, organic path to growth.
Welp, turns out, not really. The world is going to hell in a hand basket, and with it, itās taking all hopes of building a business and a community the old fashioned way. Weāre left with an over-saturation of gratuitous self-promoters. And itās never enough. Weāre all just slaves to the algorithm. You have to sway it in your favor. Pay the piper.
Advertising has always been a thing, thatās obvious. But tech giants have businesses by the balls. It feels like the only way out is through. I was watching Mad Men recently and thinking, gosh, how I would love to be able to throw an ad in the paper or up on a billboard and call it a day. I know it wasnāt easy back then either, to say the least, but investing in marketing today is like trying to fill an Olympic size swimming pool that has a hole at the bottom. And to even get close, you have to have an Olympic size budget to boot. The thought of throwing money at Meta or any of the other goons makes me want to bathe with a blender. I suppose what Iām romanticizing are the pre-social media giant days. Social has both democratized building a business while simultaneously raising the cost of paying to play.
But alas, there is no escape. Unless of course I decide to move GP to my small town and sell locally only, which, doesnāt sound half bad to be honest, but thatās not in the game plan right now.
There are probably people screaming, I know someone who built a business with only 100 dollars and never had to pay for eyeballs! Good for you. Send me a fuckin email. Iād love to hear how they did it. LinkedIn is CRAWLING with people posting these stories. āSolopreneursā (barf) who never hired a single person, did it all on their own, and built a seven-figure company with no more than a $1,000 bucks. Do you believe them?
If you do, let me know if youāre also the person who celebrates their own birthday with the zest and zeal of someone who has won the lottery (every year). We all know that girl who forces their celebratory āmeā fest on their friends and family for a month-long extravaganza. This is often the same girl who gives entitled bride-to-be energy that I wrote about in my ultra-spicy post Class is in Session: Etiquette in 2024.
Even worse, there are so many non-businesses posing as legitimate businesses out there that it becomes hard to tell the difference. But Iām going to save that topic for a later post.
This is fun. Are we having fun? įµį“įµ
Hard truth #2
Integrity doesnāt mean shit in business. This is a tough one to swallow, and to be honest I havenāt fully accepted it as a truth just yet. But itās knocking at my door. Since starting down this road, Iāve encountered dozens, DOZENS, of what could only be referred to as swindlers. They donāt have the experience, expertise, or guarantees of ROI to take your money, but theyāll take it nonetheless. Now personally, I could never charge someone for a service that I knew I couldnāt deliver on. To me, thatās just embarrassing. But to many (too many), itās just another day at the office. Everyone is in a mad dash to the success finish line. Whether itās money or notoriety theyāre after, theyāre willing to lie, steal, and cheat to get there, and they rush the process. Iām sorry, but you simply cannot say you are an expert in āxā if you only just started doing it a year ago. Thatās like someone saying āIām an orthopedic surgeon, I just started med school last year. Let me operate on you.ā Fuck outta here.
Iāll also throw this in there - because this post isnāt spicy enough - that if you are claiming to be an expert at something and youāre still in your 20sā¦ you are probably not. I would not get a face lift from a 28 year old surgeon. Unless you are Simone Biles or some other insane athlete, you need more time on this earth before you can call yourself an expert in anything.
To be clear, Iāll never give up my integrity in the way I do business, but there is a level of reckoning with the fact that plenty of other people have, and will, and I need to be more diligent about protecting myself. Every founder feels bamboozled now and again, especially when itās your first rodeo, but the goal is to make it far less often.
Now for things that actually make me feel empowered to make better decisions
Here are some notes Iāve taken lately that really put things into perspective and are helping me to make better business decisions. Shout out to my mentor
for her no-bs approach to business. Check out her Substack First Rodeo on her experience building and subsequently shuttering a company, and now sheās got a lot to say about the experience. In her words, ānobody talks about the ugly parts of this weird little whirlpool of entrepreneurial mythology and the cult of ābuilding a brand.āā Most recently I took a lot from her post The 6 Things Iād Do Differently as a Founder.Okay, here they are:
Kill your darlings. Just because I am emotionally and/or financially devoted to a particular product or idea does not mean thatās what everyone else - customers or potential customers - will attach to. For me, this frame of thought has surfaced at least one darling I need to kill so I can move on.
Stop everything else and talk to your customers. It sounds obvious, but when youāre building something, you get pulled in so many directions that even important things fall by the wayside. Iām turning this ship around and dedicating time to connecting with and learning from my customers.
Leverage āIā instead of āwe.ā Itās easy to fall into the trap of feeling like all of my marketing emails, newsletters, IG posts, have to come from āwe,ā as in, āwe, the company of Good Psyche.ā But actually, Iām realizing the benefit in the authenticity of sending from āI.ā Hey, itās me, Trish. It feels more personal for the customer because it is! Iām the one writing it and speaking directly to them, and I think people appreciate hearing from the founder like that. Itās accountability.
Anyways, thatās all my tired brain can think of for now. Check on your founder friends. Make sure they are feeding themselves, bathing regularly, exercising, getting some sunlight on their skin. You know, the basics.
You could be anywhere right now and youāre here ā”ļø Thank you for reading. You clearly have good taste.
Donāt forget to š this post.
i am both glad and sorry that our convo yesterday stuck in your craw so much! for what it's worth, throwing an ad in the paper in the 90's and calling it a day for marketing your business probably wouldn't have worked or been as easy as it seems now either. starting something new has always been-- and will always be!-- hard! that's why our culture is so obsessed with entrepreneurs. ;)
i can feel the tough stuff and the scarcity mindset that's overwhelming your narrative here and i know from experience how hard it is to get creative or feel lucky or feel any sense of abundance when your thoughts feel and sound this way. i'm sending you love and hoping a perspective shift comes your way soon. this is the beginning of your path as a founder-- it will be hard but it should still be FUN to create. if it's not fun yet, we haven't found the right mediums of creation, and we can keep playing around until we do. :) there are no rules. you make the rules. you are doing this for you!
and at the end of the day, when this feels too dark in your head, just remind yourself: it's wellbeauty, not heart surgery... we got this!
You have built a beautiful brand, launched it, launched innovate products to market and are successfully selling those products. Think back to before you started what the above would mean to you. Keep on redefining what you now see as success but don't let that over shadow the incredible achievements thus far. Love to see such supportive and meaningful comments from fellow female founders and entrepreneurs, a long time coming! More real ones and less pretenders Trish!